Vix Anderton’s Story … #BossBabe Love Month Series

And this is where it gets messy …

I ended up leaving the RAF with very little idea of what I wanted to do next. I mean, I had a few general ideas: I wanted to be in London (partly for the city’s energy, partly because I really wanted to find a good yoga studio again!); I wanted to help further women’s rights; and I wanted a life full of interesting experiences. Not much to go on, really! So, I did what anyone with a few months’ paid leave and a few thousand pounds in the bank: I packed my bags, jumped on a plane and spent a couple of months backpacking my way around south-east Asia.

Coming back to the UK, I moved back home with my parents. At the ripe old age of 31, that wasn’t without its challenges, but I really appreciated getting to know them as people and establishing a proper adult relationship with them, not to mention super-cheap rent for a few months! LOL!

I then did some work at the BBC and at a think tank. It was all enjoyable but just not quite what I was looking for. There were a couple of times when it seemed like everything was about to work out perfectly but then everything would fall apart at the last minute. Add in a bit of heartache for good measure and by the end of the Autumn, I was feeling pretty despondent. Rock bottom (and I use that loosely – I know how good my life still was) came when I found myself applying for a job at Goldman Sachs; there’s obviously nothing wrong with working in finance but it was so far away from what I had set out to do. Unfortunately, at the time, I couldn’t really see that; I felt low and desperate. But as it so often does, life through me a lifeline – the chance to go and lead a team of young volunteers in Bangladesh for nearly five months. Looking back, I feel like I made that decision instantly but, thinking about it properly, I remember being really torn. For the first time in my working life, since joining the military, I had really choice and freedom about what I did but, man, was that terrifying! What if I got it wrong?!

After consulting with some very good friends and mentors, I called up the HR woman at Goldman and had a conversation that she mustn’t have all that often: thanks very much but no thanks, I’m off to volunteer in a developing country for a few months! And, that was that.

One of the most fulfilling experiences of my life, living in a small rural community in the Bangladeshi countryside, learning to speak Bengali, living without any hot water and making a difference to the lives of the women and girls in our community.  

Once again, I came home with lots of ideas and enthusiasm but no real plan. I decided that unemployment meant that a house purchase was out of the picture for a while. So, I gave myself six months and a chunk of my savings to see what I could make happen. And I just did stuff. I went to festivals and hung out in parks. I taught on Hostile Environment courses, helping NGO workers prepare for trips overseas. I wrote articles for journals and for VSO on youth volunteering and women’s rights. I had so many conversations, not knowing where they would lead. I became part of an amazing community, thanks to Escape the City, and then, at the end of that summer, it happened. I got offered a short-term consultancy gig in Beirut (the fourth country I would work in in 18 months) with the possibility of a permanent job back in London. The same week I was due to sign the contract, I was contacted by someone on LinkedIn who had seen my profile – I had just updated my job title to Gender and Security Consultant – and invited me in to meet. Serendipity struck. They invited me in for an interview the following week for a post they just happened to be recruiting for and got offered the job!

And for 18 months, things were great. Good job, boyfriend, house purchase — all those external markers of success. I found myself signed off work with stress, experiencing depression, anxiety and occasionally suicidal thoughts. I went back to the drawing board — well, a blank piece of flipchart — and let myself dream with no limits about what I wanted to do.  The list was rather extensive! It made me realize that one of the most important things for me is being able to work on all my interests. So, I handed in my resignation and embarked on a new portfolio career.

Although, that’s not how I described it at the time. I figured I could probably pull in enough consultancy work for 3 to 4 days a week, then I would have more time for writing and maybe teach some yoga classes. The portfolio stuff really only started to come when I basically just started saying “yes” to every consultancy opportunity that came up that I felt I was remotely capable of doing. I kept following my heart and my gut and it seemed to be taking me in a really, really exciting direction that I’m enjoying, and I feel passionate about.

I used to think of myself as a controlled, organized kind of person until I stepped into this portfolio career. And over the past 18 months, I’ve really been learning to it’s like take my hands off the steering wheel a little bit. To start to trust the universe that when you work hard, and put this good energy out there, it comes back.

The Practical Balance was born out of a London-based incubator program which was based on the core principles of self-awareness, self-worth and self-leadership. My business helps founders and freelancers manage their energy, rhythms and emotions. My own journey into self-employment and ultimately entrepreneurship has let me experiment with managing my energy and attention, rather than my time, in a way that works with my natural rhythms. I’ve worked hard on my mindset and my emotional agility. And I’m still learning so much.

I want to help people reset their own lives as founders and entrepreneurs. To find those rhythms and that right balance of work and rest for them. Over time, I would love to take that out into working with founding teams and how to help them set up their own start-up culture around those principles. Ultimately, I would love this to be influencing the social narrative around the balance of work and rest, and masculine and feminine energies and gender norms.