How To Fire People And Reclaim Your Joy!

Today I want to switch the conversation up a little bit and talk about joy!

It’s the age of virtual living; you could very easily (and all too often) feel defeated and depressed just watching what everyone else is accomplishing, while you’re feeling stuck in a joyless rut on the rinse n’ repeat cycle. Some days, our self-worth plummets and as well as know too well, it doesn’t take much to go down the rabbit hole in a spiraling combination of self-doubt, self-loathing, and low self-esteem.

As it turns out, enough of these days over here has helped us figure out a solution; we must safeguard our levels of happiness, motivation, and joy!

So, in order to pony up and reclaim your joy, here’s two ways you can be mindful about it all …

#1. BEING AWARE OF YOUR EMOTIONAL TRIGGERS.

Managing one’s emotions can mean the difference between flourishing and floundering. So, if you want to be a successful entrepreneur (because being one truly evokes all the emotions) it’s very important to learn to control your emotions, so your emotions don’t take control over you.

Listen, we’re all human. Emotions are natural and can unavoidably come up during the day-to-day. But being able to better control these emotions is why we’re here today, and it’s all about having the right mindset. Once you begin to observe your emotions, you will be able to better separate yourself from making decisions based on them. Then you will no longer be “ruled” by your emotions, and you will be able to make sound, well-thought-out decisions in order to make your business more successful, and less stressful.

I am an honest to goodness believer that people enjoy wearing that title, but sadly not always for its true meaning but the qualities they feel it represents. So, I want to start by sharing with you what I feel are the top seven emotions we as entrepreneurs feel very intensely …

• Anticipation
• Passion and Euphoria
• Fear of Failure (or putting yourself out there)
• Loyalty (and sometimes Betrayal)
• Stress (which is a given obvious)
• Doubt and Anxiety
• Comparison and Curiosity

Emotional triggers can be almost anything. But they’re often based on an event from our past that we don’t want to repeat. It could be a tone of voice, a personal characteristic, or even a blunder that would be normally brushed aside. Though it might seem like an irrational emotional “out of the blue” reaction, trust me, it’s not. It’s been hovering around, waiting to set off. So, here are some of the most common triggers we all know a little too well that prevents us from doing business they way we truly want to …

• Traumatic Memory
• Ego Protection
• Stress

And now …

#2. BEING AWARE OF YOUR REACTIONS.

The trick to managing these triggers is to see them coming.

If you don’t bring your conscious attention to the event, you’ll be stuck on that dang rinse n’ repeat cycle. So, to gain control of your emotions, while trying to professionally run your business — and maybe even a team too! — you’ll want to take a bit of a deep dive at the specific situation you’re experiencing to carefully figure out HOW or WHEN you were triggered.

For instance:

• What were the physical hints?
• Did you clench your jaw?
• Did your face get hot and your breathing rapid?
• Did you feel like you wanted to shed some tears?
• Or feel like a volcano about to erupt?

Once you know what triggers you in certain situations, you have a better opportunity to cut it off before you go off. Then pivot easefully by shifting your focus slightly away from the source to feel the weight of your feet on the floor or figure out a way to re-ground yourself. This allows your mind to settle and not be distracted by the emotion of the moment.

Knowing that you have the ability to experience all your emotions without having to amplify, suppress or even act on them is an immensely powerful skill. Of course, this ability to focus your attention and self-manage does not happen overnight, but with practice, you can gain these skills over time so you can manage your life more effectively. This ability also makes us more adaptable and resilient.

Now you are probably wondering why I keep talking about feelings and emotions when the main title of today’s “untangling” episode is about firing people to reclaim your joy …

Well, don’t you worry! I got you.

I felt it was highly important to have more information about triggers and reactions before diving into the main guts of today’s topic, as they go hand-in-hand. So, now let’s talk about the stressful, dreaded act of having to fire someone in order to keep your sanity and reclaim some of your hard-earned joy!

Here at VU, we have had our fair share of team members who didn’t quite tickle our fancy, and eventually, after much hard efforts to make things work and a heck of a lot of stress and tears, we had to part ways. However, after oodles of years in business and endless sleepless nights on the matter, I decided one day, if I absolutely must fire someone, I will do it after much deliberation and when the time comes, I shall do it gracefully.

And here’s how you do just that, in three simple steps!

#1. BE CLEAR.

And by this, I mean, when you hire them and when you fire them.

I always due my virtual due diligence when adding someone new to the team. I share what I am looking to achieve, what I need help with and where there is room to grow. Then I also make sure to ask what brings them joy in their talents and where they want room to shine. Followed by what’s on their “not-to-do list”. It’s very important to me to not ask someone to do something if they feel it’s not their strong suit or it’s not something they want to do at all. Knowing this in advance creates a heck of a lot less stress later on, and you’ll be guaranteed to have a better outcome.

For instance, if the person about to join my team is not the creative type and strictly an admin guru, I wouldn’t dare ask them to help with copywriting or design work.

I also make sure to present what is expected of them whether it be internal VU work or work we are creating for our clients. We are in the game of “untangling” so works filled to the brim with typos or sloppy spreadsheet and unorganized files just isn’t going to cut it over here. Delegating is hard enough as it is for some of us, so having to do that all the while managing team members who do not want to play nicely is purely disastrous.

I have personally gone through 2 virtual assistants and 6 writers in sadly just the past 5 years. And no, it’s not because I’m a perfectionist or a hard ass. It’s because I value what I do, how I present Virtually Untangled to the digital world, and how I present everything to our tangled clients.

So, on my end, certain things are just not acceptable. Things such as:

• Ghosting for days or weeks upon end
• Missing timelines without notification
• Horribly typo’d documents
• Not showing up to meetings

And one of the most dangerous of all …

• Plagiarism!

For me, communication is key! And so is professionalism and organization. Now I whole-heartedly know that I’m a bit of a different nerdy multi-passionate person, and not everyone can be as stupid organized as me. But I also feel that those few items I just shared with you isn’t really asking much and honestly, common courtesy when working with anyone … whether you’re the business owner asking for help from your team, or the client asking for help from whomever you hired to do so.

But sadly, not everyone feels the same way.

Now that we’ve cleared up the “be clear when hiring”, let’s talk about the same when firing …

If you must fire someone, it’s important to do so gracefully. When you meet with them (virtually or in-person) to tell them they are being fired, you need to tell them as soon as the meeting starts. If you were getting fired, you wouldn’t want to talk about the weather or last night’s episode of “So You Think You Can Dance” before hearing the news.
Do #TheThing, answer any questions relating to their last paycheck, and move on.

Next up …

#2. DON’T HUMILIATE THEM.

If I must fire someone on my team, I treat them with dignity because I don’t want to humiliate them. I will always fire someone without an audience, and of course not gossip about it to the other members on my team.

Termination isn’t just bad for that individual — it’s also bad for the others who still work there. They may feel nervous wondering if they’re next on the chopping block. And your team members have more than likely grown a relationship. And you don’t want to risk draining the morale out of the other team members. You want to right the wrong, pivot, adapt and move on. That being said, it is necessary to loop everyone else in by letting them know there will be a change in workload or new opportunities available as projects and tasks will need to be shuffled and delegated appropriately.

In short, be personable, be honest and straightforward, and be respectful and discreet.

And lastly …

#3. LEAVE THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE OUT.

Don’t procrastinate — but don’t rush to get it over with either.

Before you fire someone, make sure you’re providing warnings as things come up, so they know they are not performing well. If you are firing someone due to a serious violation (like plagiarism), well … that’s an entirely different story. But if their performance is poor, and nothing changes or your comments to them aren’t being taken seriously in order to improve, perhaps consider holding a meeting to do a performance review (before firing them). This will give you the chance to give them tips on how they can improve, as well as what you expect from them going forward — even though you’ve more than likely shared this with them upon hiring and on multiple other occasions. In most cases, having this honest conversation will kick them into gear, and you won’t need to fire them.

But most importantly, always give them every possible chance to improve first, and reserve firing as your ultimate option of last resort. If they still don’t improve after you’ve given them fair warning (probably on multiple occasions), don’t wait to fire them. You don’t want them to single-handedly sink your business because they are wasting your time, other people’s time, resources, and money. Just rip off the band-aid!

Letting go of a team member is of course easier said than done. And quite honestly one of the most exceptionally difficult things any leader must do. Especially depending on how long they were with you or the circumstances, it can be rather traumatic. Sometimes, it’s just the necessary evil. You just need to focus on the fact that firing said person makes good business sense and hopefully it’s in the interest of all parties involved, especially you and your team going forward.

So, if you’re needing to reclaim some of your joy and find yourself in a situation where you must let someone go, you now know what to do and what not to do. Just follow our tips in today’s episode to ensure everything goes smoothly and of course to avoid landing in virtual hot water. And you can of course tailor this process to make it your own. But remember, the important thing is to be as comfortable as possible with what you will say and do so you can make the absolute best of an exceedingly difficult situation.

Dealing with team members can be difficult.

But NOT dealing with them can be worse …