How To Manage Clients Who Become g-g-g-Ghosts …

Today we’re going to be talking about a topic that we’ve talked about before in the more generalized sense, and one that’s sensitive to most, as we’ve all experienced this one time or another … GHOSTING!

It’s sadly a real thing in the business world; when client’s fall into the virtual abyss. That’s right folks, just like the culture of “swiping right” on Tinder and all those other dating apps, ghosting isn’t just for the dating world anymore … This disappearing act has entered our lexicon. It has spilled over into the professional aspect of our lives, with negative consequences. And it hurts!

In today’s “untangling” blog post, we’ll be focusing on current clients, not dream ones you may be mid-conversation with. That’s a whole other discussion entirely, and sadly … even more common there than with your current roster of favourite peeps. This is a disappointing and frustrating scenario we’ve all been through … You’re happily working away with a client in which (hopefully) you have much fun with. Then *BAM!* the contract is mid-“untangle” or near done or perhaps even fully completed and to your surprise … pure and utter silence in your inbox.

So, you send a quick “HELLO!” or reminder and wait. Then you wait … and wait … and wait … And nothing.

Then after refreshing your email 10 thousand times, checking your texts and social DM’s, you officially realize … you’ve been professionally ghosted! Now what?

Three short words … LET. IT. GO.

There are endless reasons why said person may have ghosted you. Some may be about you, but many are not. You’re feeling stressed, let down, and frustrated with yourself for making an unknown mistake to cause this. And maybe you’re even a little sad that all communication has been lost with this person. You want to keep the virtual ball rolling and you’re just not sure how to reach them.

For team VU, we find this utterly frustrating. Especially when we’re mid contract with someone working away on #AllTheThings and they just fall off the face of the Earth. Then when they’re ready to return everything seems to be an emergency. When we were here all along and it’s not our fault everything is behind the originally discussed timelines … We. Were. Here.

It’s honestly not hard to search for subtext when you get no response, and your inbox is hearing crickets. And if you’re anything like me, your brain takes you in a million different directions, none of them happy ones. You keep racking your brain as to “what did I do wrong?” or “why don’t they care about their actions and business as much as I do, when it’s not even my business?” … Thus, ending in pure frustration — and maybe even a tarnished working relationship — trying to figure things out that are well out of your control because you don’t want to feel like this ever, EVER AGAIN!

Honestly, it’s not you. And there is nothing you can do so there is no point wasting your precious time and creating more stress wrinkles about it all. It truly all boils down to this … Most likely, it’s not you, it’s 100% them.

Here’s a few reasons they may be ghosting you …

• They may be putting out virtual fires or something personal came up.
  
  
• They may be juggling a bazillion things and reprioritizing as they go.
  • The work you’ve been doing with them all this time may have been top notch priority at the time, but now it’s 50th on the list. This is completely normal — especially if your client is a small business owner just like you.
    
    
• They may now feel your service offerings are too expensive for them and aren’t quite sure how to bring it up. Money is always a sensitive topic for people. Which is a legitimate reason, but not to ghost.
  
  
• They may have had this as their deliberate strategy from the start. Smart-ish psychological effects are one thing, but deliberate cheap skating is another. Some people (for some crazy reason) secretly choose to not pay you or work with you long-term from the moment they hired you. Can you imagine?
  
  
• They may just plainly have bad manners — which is a bit blunt — but for whatever reason, the way our virtual world has evolved into the impersonal nature of communicating with someone has made it “okay” to just end a conversation without warning or social repercussion. Sometimes it’s easier for people to simply ignore than respond.

What we’ve learned from this ourselves way too many times is that you truly just need to take a step back, leave things in their hands — it is THEIR business after all, and place your focus on the client’s who respect your time and expertise. And when said ghost returns … professionally stand your ground by letting them know:

• Their behaviour was unacceptable (if a no-good reason or no reason at all was shared with you).
  
  
• Their project request(s) still are important to you, and you value your business with them, but in respect of time lost and other client work, their items will need to go back into the queue.

Although professional ghosting behaviour may be nothing to worry about, it may still have a huge impact on your business. You’re invoicing and other projects and jobs you may have lined up are all out of whack! After all, you’re not quite sure when your client will be coming back to say, “Hi, I’m back — and I need these projects done by end of day today … tomorrow …” Or if they’re even coming back at all.

Personally, at Virtually Untangled, we have experienced this a good handful of times. Some clients get so “tangled” that they become overwhelmed and sometimes can’t keep up with our extreme level of organization, productivity, and creativity. Our guess is they fall off the wagon or are embarrassed about their virtual mess, so they choose to stop all communication and take everything on themselves.

There have even been times when we were afraid to take on new projects and new clients in fear of the ghosting client’s time response — because it was so whacky. They would drop out of sight, then pop back in without moments notice (sometimes weeks or even months down the road), then want all their projects or edits RIGHT now no matter what. And without a care of respect in the world of what may be going on at our end.

Sadly, this extends even one step further for folks who offer retainer packages with a timestamp on them like we do. Where the client is rudely upset that the contract time they paid for didn’t get used up. When in reality, they ghosted — so how is one supposed to hold their end of the bargain without the other doing their part.

This one truly boggles our minds over here.

Ain’t nobody got time for that!

And honestly … we feel it is extremely inconsiderate and super RUDE!

So, if ghosting is something you have experienced or perhaps experiencing right now and you’re feeling flustered and out of whack, it’s time to put things back on the right virtual path and set some boundaries.

And to help ease this frustrating paint point, here’s what we do …

• Only send ONE follow-up email, in which we like to call the “buried email” trick. Ask them if your email got buried in their inbox and if they would like you to close their file. If whatever you’re working on is important to them — and they value and respect you — they will respond.
  
  
• Respect their hesitation and leave your virtual door open. You know what your time is worth, but they need to realize this on their own. If they come back and you have the capacity to bring them back as a client, then feel free to do so. Just remember that “no” is also a very acceptable answer. No explanation required. We here at VU prefer to give the benefit of the doubt and not blacklist ghosting clients. We like to hear them out then provide ourselves enough time to make a sound decision on whether (or not) to re-open our virtual door.
  
  
• Create contract options that include upfront payments. This is a completely normal professional practice — especially if you offer bundled services or retainer package options for the month-to-month’ers. You can’t stop them from ghosting, but you can stop them from running away with your money by only doing work that has been paid for in advance and saving yourself a lot of anguish and possible financial loss.
  
  
• Honour your contract statements. If there is an expiry date for purchased time and the ghoster ghosts mid-contract, ensure it’s in your signed agreement that you will make so many attempts before the contract becomes null and void due to lack of communication. Our sounds like this …
  • “If the Client does not communicate within the means of this contract with information needed to facilitate an agreed upon project within said contract, The Consultant will attempt to communicate a total of 3 times (via email) within a 90-day period with the pending project requirements. Upon no response of value and substance, this contract will be null and void 3 days after the last attempted communication.
  • And because we offer social media services … “This includes any unpublished social media posts Virtually Untangled has created and pre-scheduled while under contract for the Client. If contract is declared null and void due to no response of value and substance within a 90-day period, all social media posts that are pre-scheduled to be published on the date of voiding and thereafter, will be deleted.”
    • Our is still relatively the same since this episode has gone LIVe on our podcast — but we’ve fine tuned even more. If you’d like some more insight on how to really iron clad your contract with the “right” wording, feel free to drop me a line at hello@virtuallyuntangled — would be more than happy to chat!
      
      
• Make your contracts non-refundable and retainer contract time hours non-transferable. This will save you in the long run from many difficult excuse-type conversations. The time must be used up or lost … no if’s, and’s, or but’s about it. Period. However, there are some exceptions like you had a family or medical emergency or they did. We feel this should be honoured as we’re only human and some things are completely out of our control.
  
  
• Learn to let go of your crazy organized timelines. This one is SO HARD sometimes. And due to our nerdy OCD ways, we personally struggle with this one more often than we care to admit. So, if you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed because you made some virtual magic happen for your client, but they’re not responding, that’s on them, not you. Just because it was a priority at the time for them and you’re proud of what you did and ready to take the next step(s) forward with their plan, the client may not feel the same. So, let it go and work on something else. When the project or topic re-arises later, you can pivot and adjust then. You can only control so much.
  
  
• Set project management boundaries. You clients can voice their preferences and more than welcome to try to push their deliverable schedule — but they need to know you may not be able to immediately fit them back into your schedule just because they are now ready. Especially if their contract was completed or expired before the ghosting began. This will save you time from having to scramble and switch gears after they finally decide to resurface.
  
  
• If this horrible pattern continues and you’ve had to part ways, they should remain in that virtual space. Oddly, this happens from time to time … Maybe you weren’t the right fit to work together. If you’re paid up, you’re good. And if they come crawling back begging for a second chance but your gut is telling you to run for the hills, then stick with that feeling. However, maybe they’re not a flake, and the instance that got them fired isn’t how they normally operate … Well, that’s up to you to reconsider. But word of caution, move back into work mode gradually without a long-term contract in place. Just to test the waters and see if these patterns re-arise.

For some strange ass reason, we are seeing a big pattern of cancelation in general in our society (even more so after the pandemic — sadly!!!), in large part because technology makes it so damn easy to ghost. And the weight of ghosting (to some) doesn’t feel as heavy because we’re all busier than ever nowadays. So, some give themselves permission to “cancel” things without much thought, or consideration as to how it affects or makes the other person feel. I truly honestly do feel that most times, these ghosts we once knew, are probably having a difficult time deciding how to get their shit together or say good-bye so they just choose to do nothing — thinking it’s affecting only them — and leave you to the wayside or move on.

We’re virtually stuck in a “no face-to-face communication — no responsibility” aka “out of sight — out of mind” generation. It’s like an internet virus of the people …! And in our virtual opinion, we feel this should never happen in the business world. So, in short, remember this …

• Don’t panic (it’s not you).
• Take a step back (it’s still not you).
• Send a polite reminder (or two).
• Move on if you don’t receive a response.

And most important of all …

Learn from these experiences and use them to improve your business practices going forward to not only make your life easier, but to protect yourself from folks who are disrespecting you, your time, and your expertise. And who seemingly don’t care as much as you do about their business well being. And if you think of it … Sometimes not getting what you want (which in these horrible instances is time with your paying client) is a wonderful stroke of luck, which may open other golden doors of opportunity.

So, share with us …

Have you ever been ghosted by a client? If so, how did you handle it?

And how did you improve your business practices to protect yourself further?