Let Me Out: Conquer Fear And Build Resilience

Real change is difficult at the beginning, but gorgeous at the end. Change begins the moment you get the courage and step outside your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Some people say that entrepreneurs are crazy. And maybe they’re right! Crazy motivated, crazy smart, crazy passionate. We are the ones who change the world AND get to live our dream doing it … freedom, purpose, and change. And due to those factors, it seems that more and more people want to become an entrepreneur. And with all the lifestyle greatness that comes along with the title, why not?

However, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows!

You’re going to make mistakes, and you’re going to be told by hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people that what you’re trying to accomplish simply can’t be done BUT it’s our “crazy” strategies and tactics that are going to change the world. The path isn’t always easy, and the survival rate is sometimes low. But it’s the mental tools that keep our journey intact. And one of those especially important tools is resilience.

As a business owner, being resilient is important because it reminds us that although the situation at hand may feel exceptionally hard and sometimes virtually uncomfortable, we can trust ourselves to overcome it.

Resilience helps us learn better, perform better, be #AllTheThings for our team and clients, reduces our chances of engaging in risky behaviour, helps us become more in tune with our true selves (and social circles) and most importantly improves our physical health. However, being resilient isn’t always as easy as it sounds. And it’s most certainly not a walk in the park. Quite frankly, it’s the exact opposite. So, what I want you to do is think of building resilience like building muscle. It takes time, energy, sacrifice, and a whole heck of a lot of pain. You’re going to feel aches and pains for a while. But trust me, it will all be worth it in the end.

Fear also tends to play a huge role in preventing us from being resilient. When we are afraid, no matter what it’s about, we tend to run away instead of facing things head on. But facing our fears is a key in building resilience because it forces us to avoid all those nasty negative emotions.

Don’t get me wrong, being fearful is completely normal and it happens to us all. But it’s time to let yourself out, conquer those fears and build resilience!

Before we dive into the HOW of all that, let me share a little story with you …

My job as a designer and an artist is to research everything (yes, literally everything) then look hard and close at many seemingly unrelated items and figure out a way to make them connect. Whether this connection is by look or feel or purely for functionality purposes. Having this type of mindset may seem like I have it all together and that I would be a great problem-solver. But the truth of the matter is … problem-solving in design-land, YES. Problem-solving a good handful of years ago when it came to my career, NO. A hard NO.

Before taking Virtually Untangled full-time 5 years ago, I found myself holding some hard truths in front of me. Truths that I never knew how to tackle or felt I had the ability to make a change in my mindset. Truths like:

1. Being a designer is my whole life, but I was tired of being overworked and undervalued at my day job.
   
   
2. The thought of following my true passion and breaking away from the 9-5 gig … utterly terrifying and seemingly impossible.
   
   
3. My day job was making my life and those around me miserable … feeling exhausted and unmotivated.

During these truthful challenges one major thing has always been stuck with me; “Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are”, stated by one of my favourite authors, Brene Brown. But how could I possibly conquer that dreaded fear of “embracing who I am” by staying in the dead-end day job I was in? How could I possibly accomplish the day-to-day things in life such as bills, being comfortable with habit (because that’s what became of my life … a bunch of habitual ways of living — rinse n’ repeat) and not becoming homeless or more in debt? How could I amp up my confidence in order to take the big leap into entrepreneur-land? And the question that scared me the most …. How could I find happiness again?

I thought to myself on many, MANY occasions … How do I get out of this black hole? How do I figure out how to be happy again and truly live the life I want and deserve? How do I take what I’ve learnt and move forward? How can I possibly change my mindset, become more confident and resilient, and make such a sudden life-altering career move?

Well, let me tell you … it was all possible. Never to this day did I ever imagine myself owning my own successful full-time business — with a team might I add — and still having the opportunity to follow my passion in life. At one point I even considered dropping graphic design from my life and going to work as a barista at Starbucks. That is how much my 9-5 sucked from my true being.

Time and time again, you have heard me talk about the importance of the foundation of a story. One with courage, resiliency, and strength. Now it’s time to think back to your story … look at how far you’ve come! And every time that fear comes banging at your virtual door … let yourself out and conquer it!

It has been nearly 5 satisfying years since the re-brand of side-gig, into what is now known as Virtually Untangled, and I feel as though I have been reacquainted with reality. I can now say that I know myself for who I truly am, have a more positive outlook on life and where this new path is taking me and that I know the value of my worth, as a person and through all the “untangling” my team and I offer within my business.

Yes, I sometimes work long days and many hours past the usual 9-5 but to me it is worth it, and I enjoy every moment of it. Yes, I have still have deadlines but this is all now on my schedule and on my terms. If I want to work harder and later than usual one day that is now my choice, and I (as well as my lovely list of clients) reap the benefits.

I finally feel happy and satisfied working my own hours and stepping to my own beat and now the only person who can make me feel undervalued or overworked is myself and to me, there is no room for that anymore. I guess what I am getting at here is that I now have choices, and felt as though I didn’t before. And so do you!

Plus, all the options I get to choose from lead to happiness and nothing else. If I want to stay up late working, writing, learning or even binge watch some TV … I can do that if it creates happiness for me. No more rinse n’ repeat. I am finally in charge of my own life … my own happiness … my own success … and conquering my fears and building resiliency along the way.

If you think about it, Virtually Untangled has literally been an “untangling” of my own life. I was lucky enough to have the pleasure of working with talented individuals to help me find the courage to set myself up for achieving my bigger picture. Of course, taking those first steps were scary as hell but isn’t that what being an entrepreneur is all about? Working hard. Taking leaps of faith, but for yourself, not for others. Building connections. Putting yourself out there and just being the best YOU, you know YOU CAN BE (sounds like a corny 80’s TV commercial, but true).

It’s been said that courage is contagious and that every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver. I truly believe that. We must learn to cope with our vulnerabilities and have a willingness to be “all in” or we’re never going to get to where we want to be, we’re never going to be truly happy, and life is just going to pass right on by.

So, here I am … still lucky enough to be accomplishing that dream I have forever held close to my heart. I feel very grateful and very lucky to be one of the few who gets to work in a field that was once only a childhood dream. Unfortunately, not many people have that privilege or drive to get them there. But, after hearing my fear conquering story, I can virtually guarantee that building your dream business is possible.

So, are you ready to be courageous in your life?

Want to know how to let yourself out, conquer your fears and build resilience?

Here’s some helpful tips …

• Get connected. Building strong, positive relationships with your team, clients, audience, social circle, or other entrepreneurs you admire can provide you with much needed support and acceptance in times of the good, the bad and yes, even the ugly. Never suffer alone.
  
  
• Make every day meaningful. Do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose every single day. Take a moment and think back to a handful of previous Digital Glue episodes where we talked about setting SMART goals, getting organized, and making those lists to help you look toward the future with true meaning.
  
  
• Learn from experience. Think of how you’ve coped with hardships in the past. Consider the skills and strategies that helped you through all those difficult times. You might even consider writing a blog post or recording a podcast episode about those past experiences to help you identify positive and negative behavior patterns — and guide your future behavior.
  
  
• Remain hopeful. You can’t change the past, but you can always look toward the future. Accepting and anticipating change makes it easier to adapt and view new challenges with less anxiety. Our emotions make life richer and more fulfilling, but they can also sometimes make us do the stupidest shit. So, keep your head high, and your hopes even higher!
  
  
• Be proactive. Don’t ignore your fears and problems. Instead, figure out what needs to be done, make a solid attainable plan, and take action. Focus on what you can Although it can take time to recover from a major setback, traumatic event, or loss in your business — especially if you’re just working your way to creating and growing your very own empire — know that your situation can improve if you work at it.

Resilience is the virtue that enables us to move through hardship and become better.

YES! Things aren’t always going to be sunshine and rainbows … You’re going to make mistakes, things aren’t always going to go your way, people are going to piss you off and perhaps sometimes you them, and you’re going to be told by hundreds, perhaps even thousands, of people that what you’re trying to accomplish simply can’t be done. But they are WRONG! And it’s our crazy strategies, tactics and mindsets that are going to change the world.

So, if you truly sit back for a moment and think about it, we are living during a start-up renaissance which is filled brim to brim with endless opportunities for anyone and everyone who has a passion alongside a strong idea!

I’m not going to sugar coat things … There really is no cookie-cutter way around conquering your fears and building resiliency. There are no real “rules” — even though I completely understand it may be more comforting to think so. Every business is different just like every one of us humans is unique. You just need to find ways that work for you and just go for it!