How To Separate Emotions From Business

(Snippits from our oh so popular Digital Glue Podcast!)

Managing one’s emotions can mean the difference between flourishing and floundering. So, if you want to be a successful entrepreneur (because being one truly evokes all the emotions) it’s very important to learn to control your emotions, so your emotions don’t take control over you. Now, let me ask you this …

Do you feel as though you’re sometimes losing your mind due to stress, clients who are pushing your pain points buttons, or even wonky tech (or team) issues and wondering how to control your emotions as a business owner?

With that in mind, have you actually ever wondered how many emotions a human can actually experience?

Well, amazingly … it’s about 34,000!!!

No wonder we sometimes experience issues recognizing and articulating them, especially when under all the pain point pressure owning a business creates!

Listen, we’re all human. Emotions are natural and can unavoidably come up during the day-to-day. But being able to better control these emotions is why we’re here today, and it’s all about having the right mindset. Once you begin to observe your emotions, you will be able to better separate yourself from making decisions based on them. Then you will no longer be “ruled” by your emotions, and you will be able to make sound, well-thought-out decisions in order to make your business more successful, and less stressful.

Let’s be honest … we live in an era where the hard earned “entrepreneur” title is paraded around like a badge of honor. And truthfully, it should be as this lifestyle (even though freeing) is tough as shit! Which brings my thought process back to a statement from a previous episode … ENTREPRENEURSHIP IS NOT SEXY.

I first thought of entrepreneurship as the sexy “build a business to have more freedom” lines we normally see all over social, but what they’re “selling” isn’t the full truth …

As entrepreneurs we need to accept that there is a lot of things we can’t control. Such as platforms we don’t own, rottenly bad tech hiccup days, customers don’t want to buy, customers we work with even though they don’t fit our “dream client” profile, and well … basically a mismatch of a lot of things … time, control, mission, values, and confidence. (And back to this topic; emotions.) So, learning to let go of the “small stuff” that makes us downright crazy to the point where we may even have forgotten why we’ve chosen this path in the first place is what makes this lifestyle oh so not sexy.

That being said, I am an honest to goodness believer that people enjoy wearing that title, but sadly not always for its true meaning but the qualities they feel it represents. So, I want to start by sharing with you what I feel are the top seven emotions we as entrepreneurs feel very intensely …

Anticipation
Passion and Euphoria
Fear of Failure (or putting yourself out there)
Loyalty (and sometimes Betrayal)
Stress (which is a given obvious)
Doubt and Anxiety
Comparison and Curiosity

Now I’m sure these are all pretty self-explanatory and as a business owner you’ve dabbled in each emotion at one time or another — just as my team and I have. Perhaps even multiples all at one time. But let’s dig a bit deeper into each one before we dive into the “how to deal” portion of this episode …

ANTICIPATION:

This emotion is all about being able to see ahead of “the curve” in order to make sound decisions accordingly. Every entrepreneur I personally know, lives in a constant state of anticipation. And unfortunately, there is no such thing as being fully satisfied with where things are — because the moment you feel at complete ease, you’ve actually begun to lose ground. So, it’s worth acknowledging through the anticipation as it’s a truly powerful skill, and while left to its own devices leads to stress, burnout, comparison (which will touch base on shortly), and clouded judgement.

PASSION and EUPHORIA:

We as entrepreneurs are trailblazers. We prepare the trail, so our clients and customers don’t have to cut through the brush themselves.

So, experiencing passion and euphoria helps inspires the vision – even if it’s in a niche that no one has done before. It helps you build your human touch authentic brand and story, which in turn attracts the right audience. It helps bring in clarity in times where you feel tangled, stuck, or uncertain. It helps you build a solid foundation where you establish your core values. It provides you with a means to keep going … true motivation and confidence to deliver your mission and purpose, all the while creating an authentic space to continue to be the expert, we all know you are at what you do. And most importantly … it helps you tell a story to resonate with your audience, thus setting you apart from your competitors.

And remember … a successful entrepreneur, is a passionate entrepreneur.

FEAR OF FAILURE (or putting yourself out there):

Fear comes in many shapes and sizes. It affects all areas of our lives, and one of the most common in business is fear of failure. Few things are scarier than starting and trying to grow your own business. You sacrifice financial stability, sanity, and freedoms of all sorts. These vulnerabilities are enough to give pause to the savviest of entrepreneurs — myself included. So, the first thing I want you to take note of — and literally put on a post-in note somewhere — is that failing in business DOES NOT make you a failure!

Fear can be an utterly paralyzing emotional response that is hard for anyone to overcome — even for entrepreneurs, who are considered natural risk-takers. Fear of failure is honestly one of the biggest hurdles preventing entrepreneurs from starting businesses, and it can creep up at any given time. While it’s impossible to remove fear entirely, you can implement techniques to help you overcome it.

So, no matter what strategies you use to overcome the fear of failing, never forget the most important rule — you define failure, it doesn’t define you. Ultimately, you have the final say about what you consider a failure to be. You can let a failure or mistake define you, or you can learn from it and use it to help you grow professionally and personally.

LOYALTY (and sometimes Betrayal):

Due to the nature of this chosen lifestyle, we tend to become very close with the people we work with and who aids us on our adventures. With that in mind, as with everything else in life, the saying goes “for every friend is an enemy, and for every strong bond of loyalty is an unfortunate circumstance of betrayal.”

Being an entrepreneur means you need to be so thick-skinned it’s crazy at times. You will endure your fair share of relationships gone wrong and perhaps team members, partners or audience members who could potentially turn deceitful. Working through these experiences can be tough, but they will also help mold you into a fearless business leader in the long run.

STRESS (which is a given obvious):

One of my clients’ focus — with not only his clients and his personal life — but also the name he’s most know for is Stop Doing Nothing. Patrick often talks about how an amazing business (and life) comes from done to perfect.

Being a business owner is a brutal daily struggle that can try the mental toughness of the best of us. So, we need to be more vulnerable and start talking about the bad, the utterly amazing, AND the ugly. And understanding the fullness of this journey, is what makes us human.

And I couldn’t agree more. Too many people tend to hide behind the virtual curtain of the front-facing perfection of our businesses — which creates a heck of a lot of stress. But as I see it … the most important thing we can do, whether we see the “disaster” coming or not, is to act. If we can do so before it hits headstrong then great, but if not it’s best to not be a deer in the headlights, completely frozen on the spot. Because if we don’t do our best to be proactive and tackle whatever the “disaster” is right away, things will more than likely just get worse. And being an entrepreneur … We don’t want, nor have time, for worse.

The most important takeaway here is to acknowledge when you feel stressed, and not suppress it. Suppressing it only postpones the pain point. The best thing you can do for yourself is to do your best to try to solve what’s causing said stress, quickly and efficiently.

DOUBT and ANXIETY:

During your entrepreneurial adventure, you’ve likely encounters various risks, pain points, and obstacles while juggling the ultimate myriad of responsibilities. With all these challenges in front of you, it’s common for self-doubt and anxiety to strike a chord at some point. So, when that cord strikes, try to keep these things top of mind to help you cope …

Pause and reflect on your progress and review the data.
Don’t talk about your plans until they’re in full virtual motion.
Remove negative things and people from your surroundings.
Remind yourself that you’re not alone, check in with your tribe.
Don’t self-sabotage … stretch your imagination.
Reframe these emotions by stepping out of your comfort zone.
Embrace these emotions and use them as motivators instead.

And last but most certainly not least …

CURIOSITY and COMPARISON:

We all tend to do this to ourselves from time to time, even though we know we shouldn’t. Because when we compare ourselves to others (mainly the competition), we know all the dirty details of our situation, but only the seemingly positive surface information about “them” and their business. So, whatever you do, do not hold yourself up to some outside vague standard of greatness. Do not put them on a pedestal as you truly know nothing about them besides the “perfection” they allow you to see.

Judge your work by your principles and your values and leave comparison out of the equation. For all you know … what “they” are doing isn’t even working. Stop comparing yourself to the unknown.

*This “thief of joy” also falls in line quite frequently with “shiny object syndrome”. Which in short is all about starving distractions and feeding your focus. And since we just touched on this topic in a recent episode (and an older blog post), I’m not going to dive into it much further today — but check it out if you haven’t already.

The whole point of becoming an entrepreneur and running your own “show” is to feel independent. You’re the one who gets to choose how to run your business. You’re the one who gets to chosen to work as little or many hours (and days) as you wish to make it successful. You’re the one who gets to choose whom you work with, service, sell to in order to grow. You. Get. To. Choose.

But building a successful business can be challenging if some emotions run high and are holding you hostage. Especially if you start having doubts or are feeling lost in the virtual abyss while seeing little to no progress in the direction you’d prefer to be going in with your business. That’s why it is super important to learn to recognize your emotions (especially those nasty negative ones!) before they take a toll on you, your team, your clients or customers, and your business. And to do so, it’s really as simple as the following …

Have other entrepreneur friends in your circle.
Steer clear of all negativity — including negative people.
Stop comparing yourself to others in your niche, you are not them.
Leave personal emotions out of your business life.
Replace negative emotions with affirming positive ones.

To sum all this up, the first step you can take in order to make better choices is to understand WHERE your emotions and decisions are truly coming from. Assess. Pivot. Rinse and repeat. So, remember, your success is not tied to your feelings. It’s tied to facts and your strategy.

To end things off being vulnerable and honest with some of my own emotions around the global pandemic …

For me and my team, we feel one thing has become clear: corona continues to affect nearly every facet of our daily lives (whether an entrepreneur or not), entrepreneurs everywhere are facing some of the toughest days and decisions of their lives. And sadly, most of the day-to-day is now stemmed from a pure sense of survival. And when one combines this with the raw emotions associated with ever-changing restrictions, possibly letting go team members or employees, possibly even as frightening as closing one’s doors – whether temporarily due to restrictions or permanently, all the while trying to figure out safe and secure way to provide for one’s family – it means that many entrepreneurs are making emotional decisions purely out of emotional desperation instead of human logic. And unfortunately, some are being forced to do it at a time when stressors are higher than ever, exhaustion seems never-ending, and when it could all hurt the most.

So, if any of this is you — it’s us too, we’re in this together — we feel for you. We hope you’re making the best decisions you can right now and for your future. And we got you!

If there is any way we can help, please let us know.

If you need some publicity, please let us know as we’d be more than happy to share the love to keep your name out there … growing and flourishing.

If you need a shoulder, please let us know.

If you need ANYTHING … please let us know.

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Crystal Kordalchuk

Crystal is an artist, a writer, an organizer, a dreamer, a doer, and down-right proud of it NERD!.

Struck with a love for #AllThings creative at a very young age, Crystal dreamed of a life fueled by her passion for creating and bringing the stories and images in her mind into reality.

As she worked toward her dreams, she earned a diploma as a Computer Applications Specialist then another in Graphic Design and from there began to develop her extensive background in multimedia and the arts. She began her worked in the magazine industry as a layout designer and had a succession of design jobs thereafter. It was her role as a graphic/web designer that gave her the first real glimpse of her future. Soon she began a side job as a freelance designer while keeping one foot in the corporate world. A spark was lit! She turned her freelance gig into a full-time business combining design work with her other passion: creating organization from virtual chaos.

Crystal is one of the most organized individuals on the planet. She is by all means a Zen master of her crafts. She excels at helping others become “untangled” and provides her clients with tools to run their businesses smoothly while she takes care of the details behind the scenes. Thus Virtually Untangled was born. A successful business where her work as a top notch creative in graphic and web — with a twist of virtual assistant — married into one amazing place where clients can come with their virtual messes and become magically untangled. Crystal can always make sense of even the most unorganized chaos and offers a virtual detox of order and peace, so her clients can get busy doing the work that they love the most.

How To Separate Emotions From Business

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